4 Reasons Why I Don’t Make New Years Resolutions & What I do Instead

January 1^st is a number of hope for so many people, the day to start fresh, a new beginning, a year to start over.

Photo compliments of pinlavie.com. Get your new year’s Printable here. 

It sounds something like this.

This is the year I finally lose that weight, become a better me, take that vacation I have been dreaming about, meet the perfect partner, take up yoga, find a solution for my child’s diagnosis, ect…

Then a few weeks later, the honeymoon period wears off.

The good feelings go away and you’re left with the same guilt, shame and ‘only if’ feelings you had a few months ago when planning to change your life overnight.

I use to do this all the time, and then something finally clicked. My ‘aha’ moment came when I took the pressure off myself and finally realized there is no destination, only the journey that is currently in front of me.

4 Reasons Why I Don’t Make New Years Resolutions

1. There is no ‘arriving’, life will continue whether you are ready for it or not, challenges, lessons, tears and breakthroughs.
2. The people around you will not change over night. So stop trying to ‘fix’ them and work on fixing yourself.
3. If you want to see results in life (within your family, yourself or relationships) you need to be the leader, take a stand and better yourself so you can be better for everyone else.
4. It isn’t a new years resolution you need but a lifestyle shift. A LIFELONG commitment to change. Change within (the only thing you have control over).

So this year I have made a commitment to change, an intention for myself and only myself (because I can not control or change the actions of others).

It took time and focused effort but I sat myself down and thought long and hard about, how and WHY I wanted to grow and what I hoped the future to look like, for not only myself but my family and how I can be a better catalyst in their own growth.

So I wrote two love letters of intention.

• One to myself
• One to my children

Intention love letter to myself

Dear Heather,

Your continuous determination and perseverance will pay off this year. All the seeds you have planted will begin to sprout.

Some ‘seeds’ may go differently than expected and that is ok. You have the power to plant these seeds but do not have the power to determine how other people interpret your work, your words, and your intentions.

Always remember to stay curious, not judgmental. Don’t judge yourself, the actions of others or question your purpose on this earth. You are already doing what was intended of you. You are perfection now, not tomorrow, but now.

You are powerful beyond belief, you are safe and secure, you are a fucking rockstar.

You have birthed 3 beautiful souls, struggled through depression and abuse. You have an amazing purpose and you are already living it.

This is it my dear, there is no ‘change’ that needs to be made over the next year, just your continuous determination to take action and be of service to yourself and others.

Love always,

Me

Intention love letter to my kids

Dear Kids (Logan, Calvin & Felix),

I want to start off my thanking each of you for the life lessons you have taught me over the last year. As I continue to grow, let go and feel more confidence in my own skin, I find the confidence to know that there is no such thing as perfect parenting but a conscious understanding to know that I am good enough and am doing the best I possibly can in this moment and to me that is enough.

Dear Logan,

As a almost 8 year old, you have begun to show me that you are no longer a baby but a little man who still needs his mommy’s love and attention.

You have taught me to be strong, stand firm in my values and to never give up when it comes to finding a solution that fit perfectly for your own unique needs.

You are perfect just the way you are now (even if other may not think so).

I want you to know that I am so very proud of you and so grateful for everything you teach me.

I am a stronger person because of you. Thank you for teaching me how to breathe.

This year I promise to listen more, slow down and get outside my comfort zone.

Dear Calvin,

This year you are the BIG 3, WOW!

You are my little pistol. You teach me how to take life ‘not so seriously’, to live for the moment, to stay curious and take really good care of myself (because if I don’t, I will lose my mind).

Over the last year I have watched you grow leaps and bounds from a baby to a toddler. Watching you discover new things and never give up when trying to figure something out.

You continue to amaze me and give me the strength to keep going and expect miracles.

This year I promise to accept you for who you are. To be accepting of your personality and temperament and be more curious of where you (a 3 year old) is coming from.

Thank you for teaching me to laugh more. You always know how to put a smile on my face.

Dear Felix,

2012 you came into the world and taught me the true meaning of trust, to trust myself, my body and in the universe. It is because of you that I found the strength to let go of a job that was no longer serving me and go after what I really wanted in life, a purpose-driving career that I continues to give me joy and complete happiness on a daily basis.

Your simplicity and pure contentment with life and ‘what is’ inspires me to smile when I poop, fart in public places and cry when my needs aren’t being met.

It is because of you that I understand the importance of personal boundaries, personal self care and allow myself to take naps during the day (thank you for the snuggles).

This year I promise to continue to watch you grow with awe. Meet your needs when you tell me something is up and continue to keep you safe and love you with my whole heart.

I promise to stare at you more, smile with you, giggle when you giggle and take good care of my self, so I can take good care of you.

Thank you for being you and teaching me to trust… in everything. Oh, and NO you were not names after a cat. Felix just felt right to both your father and I, so we ‘trusted’ our guts.

Love always,

Mom

So this it is. My declaration for 2013 to be a better me, to accept myself, my husband, my children for who they were meant to be. To be more curious and understanding of the lessons they are teaching me, to move forward with grace and minimal expectations of the outcome.

Thank you 2012, it was a good one.

Much Love,

What are you personally and family intentions for 2013? Say them out loud in the comments below. Hold yourself accountable. I’m listening!

Heather Chauvin is a mental health and self-esteem advocate who has made it her mission to enhance the lives of women and children through conscious living. Heather has a Bachelor of Social Worker Degree and wide variety of continuing education certification in the mental health and holistic sector. Heather also carries a decade of experience working with many diverse populations locally and abroad. Heather leads dynamic training programs that teach both adults and children to succeed in life and accomplish anything they put their minds to. Her unique life experience and professional trainings gives Heather a one-of-a kind approach to personal growth and development.