BEFORE WORKING WITH HEATHER
I left my career in June 2011 after the birth of baby #2 and we moved to from MT to Colorado. I had looked for a Registered Dietitian position at local hospitals, public health, etc. but was “over qualified”. I didn’t want to return to the company that I’d been working for for the past 8 years because they only wanted to offer me management positions which I did not want (too much stress, very long hours). At that time, I felt like all I knew how to do was be a dietitian in the hospital or public health or work in healthcare management – I had no idea I could work for myself.
I was exhausted with an all-night nursing 2 year old and 5 year old and I didn’t feel like I was ever on the same page as my husband. I was starting to get angry (really angry), even hitting the girls when I really lost it or saying awful things. I felt like an out of control failure as a mother and tired hard to hide what a monster I really was.
I was a fucking mess. I felt like I had somehow fallen into a deep hole and no matter how hard I tried to claw my way out or how “nice” I was to the kids or the Mother In Law or how much I bent over backwards to make my husband’s life easier (because he was really struggling too) I just keep sinking deeper.
At one point while out on a morning run I was waiting at a busy intersection by my house and when the bus drove past I thought about jumping in front of it because I’d just had enough. I felt like everything I once knew (and I’m really smart with lots of education and experience, etc. behind) was totally inaccessible – like I couldn’t have an intelligent conversation if I’d wanted to and I definitely couldn’t wrap my brain around anything even remotely complex or science-y even though that had always been my genius — digesting complex science and making it teachable to others. I felt like an idiot and it was hard (and sad) to think that I had once been so “on top of my game” just 2 years previous.
Exhausted. My doctor threatened to hospitalize me for exhaustion in December 2102 so that I would have to wean my almost 2 year old daughter and recommended I let the 5 year old “cry it out” because she was coming into my room hourly (usually right after I’d nursed the little one back to sleep — these interruptions/waking were occurring 8-12 times per night. No kidding. I used to keep a pen and paper next to my bed to record them so I could show my husband who was of no help to me — just worried about taking care of his own self so he could work to support us.
WHAT SHIFTS DID YOU START TO NOTICE IS YOUR LIFE WHILE WORKING WITH HEATHER?
I was able to identify what I did and did not want in my work and I sought out info on the legalities of working for myself and the feasibility of doing so online vs. in-person. I came to see the value of what I offer and that I already know enough to be effective — I did have to keep learning (that feeling of not knowing anything eventually started to fade as my entire life started to shift and I became more confident in all areas of my life.) I set up my own biz in March 2014 and just jumped right in taking clients — even without having worked out many of the details – because we were struggling financially after the flood in September 2013 (though I had taken one client late summer 2013 – things were interrupted for 6 months by the flood).
This one has been the hardest shift to make since I share parenting responsibilities with my husband and we have the MIL/grandma in the mix as well (which is complicated and it’s own crazy-making ordeal) but eventually I was able to start using the meditations and breathing exercises to take me out of the moments of range and help me walk away and calm down. (one of my saving graces during all of this was to lock myself in the laundry room with a cup of coffee and wait out the storm — after telling them “Mommy needs to walk away for a minute” and making sure they were safe. As a parent I found the confidence to very clearly ask my husband for what I needed from him as a co-parent and spouse — at one point telling him to pack his things and take a weekend away to think about how his own anger, resentment, depression, etc was affecting our family.
Working with Heather, combined with a fairly regular yoga and meditation practice has helped me become a much more relaxed and centered parent who really doesn’t sweat the small stuff and is fully present around her children (when I’m not “at work”).
I have regained the confidence that I had before leaving my career to be a SAHM. I feel like the old me is back — I’ve crawled out of my hole and fully embrace the opportunity to meet new people, experience new situations, be vulnerable, etc. I am incredibly optimistic (sometimes almost to a fault) and can easily catch myself thinking or speaking negatively and turn it around before it becomes my reality.
I have embraced yoga 3 mornings a week (actually leaving the house and practicing in a real yoga studio with other adults — it’s blissful and feels very indulgent) and have recently started taking the time to run again.
Was the investment worth it?
YES. It was definitely a struggle financially at the time but I cashed in a retirement fund and made it happen — looking back though I would have to say that it was worth every penny and the time spent doing “the work”.
Who would you recommend Heather’s work to?
Other SAHM’s who’ve “lost their way” or turned their backs on what’s important to them (work, exercise, mentality, etc.) and those struggling with parenting.
Registered Dietitian/Nutritionist & Real Food Maven
Let’s face it – being a mom can be scary! When you’re not second-guessing yourself, wondering if you’re doing it right… you’re exhausting yourself trying to make sure everyone is ok. What I adore about working with Heather is how REAL she is. She helps you to listen to your OWN internal guidance, which is essential to being trusting that you what are the perfect MOM for YOUR child. Heather is incredible at helping moms learn to trust yourself, to honor yourself, and to BE yourself.
Racheal Cook, RYT MBA
I was indecisive about which direction to go. All I knew was that I wanted to work with children in a holistic way.
I have worked with Heather personally and every time we talk I gain a greater understanding of where I am headed in my career. I have two post secondary degrees and yet I have found it difficult to choose my path and main focus. I love working with children and families but want to add my own special touch and life experience.
My eyes were instantly opened to a whole new way of seeing things. I now understand how my thoughts and beliefs have been slowing me down from getting to where I want to be. Using the tools I have learned with Heather, I now know how to change those beliefs and move onwards in a positive way. I have also gained confidence in using mindful techniques with all kinds of children, at home or in the classroom.
Having Heather confirm and reflect what I want for myself and my family has left me feeling inspired and excited to continue on my journey. If you want to find yourself and discover all the benefits of having unconditional support on your side, Heather is for you.
Her work gives parents the opportunity to access invaluable support and guidance so that they can more honestly, openly, calmly and powerfully communicate with their children. I recommend her to my clients because she understands the impact that burnout can have on families and knows how to help parents and children reconnect and rebuild relationships. Heather has a wonderfully down to earth approach, is kind, caring and can compassionately share how to become a more conscious parent.
I was struggling trying to do it all, be a great manager along with being a great parent and there just wasn’t enough time in the day. I was impatient and losing my temper more than I wanted to. I resorted to threats more than discussions.I was stressed and anxious.I was physically exhausted.
I’m definitely less stressed. I’m taking one day at a time and trying to enjoy the moment vs. thinking about what’s next all the time. I’ve started working out and am less tired. This makes a huge difference with every part of my life.
Heather brings grit and guts to all she does. Layer that with her deep wisdom and care for helping others and you’re working with a woman who will push you gently as needed and shove you hard, also as needed! Result? You find places in yourself, in your parenting, in your relationships that you NEVER EVER thought you even had. Do this with Heather. You’re stepping up-with a safety net (and some laughter along the way – which never hurts either).
Founder, Boys Alive!
Before working with Heather I felt stuck. Like I couldn’t make a change in my career because of my personal life. I had also started a shift into wanting something more.
I’ve always wanted to be a parent and became angry with who I was becoming. I started yelling and lost my ‘spark’.
My 6 year old was reacting physically to anger. This had gotten him suspended from school not once, but twice this year. I had to figure out something fast. I had tried to teach him to meditate but my way of meditating and it wasn’t working.
I was sick of the daily struggle of trying to get everything done. Sick of having to be somewhere all the time for either the kids or anyone else. Sick of having to yell to make myself heard. I was tired.
I now think I was headed in the wrong direction in my career. I have a new spark to create meaningful work in the world. I’m not quite sure what but I’m on this journey to figure it out.
I yell so much less now and when I do I apologize and know how to get back in control of my emotions.
My 12 year old son who was diagnosed with ADD is meditating and likes it. It helps him relax. I have also had meaningful conversations with him and am learning to let go. I am teaching him independence in the process.
My 6 year old has gone from being physically aggressive to verbalizing his anger. I didn’t think that he was getting the meditation because he kept talking and fidgeting through the whole thing but he must have been listening and internalizing in his own way. I am still in the process of finding his way of meditation. I have learned that we all have different ways of doing it.
I am much calmer. Did I mention I was yelling less???? I am meditating every day myself. I no longer feel rushed. I have changed my mindset to let things flow as much as I can. I am still learning.
Oh and I’m sleeping! It feels amazing.
It has definitely been worth the time investment alone. I have had to be creative and have struggled with the time commitment but you find a way to make it work. Especially when you start seeing results. I know that I will have to keep investing time as my relationship with my children changes and we grow.
I recommend this to all parents. There is not one parent out there that doesn’t struggle. If they say they aren’t they are lying. We are never taught to parent. We come into it with no handbook. All we have is our own upbringing, experiences and anything else in our environment that has shaped us. I also believe that everyone should meditate. We all need that mental peace living in a world of overload.
The gift Heather give to the world is invaluable. Her passion to advocate for children, and those of us trying to teach them to become responsible human beings, can’t be matched. She is wise beyond her years and she shares that wisdom by living bravely with openness and authenticity. With Heather- what you see is what you get. She is the real deal. Her life experiences with her own children and her vulnerability in sharing make her a safe, strong guide on this scary journey of parenting. She gracefully points us toward The North Star, and winds along the path with us towards it.
Chief Love Amplifier
When I started working with Heather I was in a bad place in my marriage and parenting. I took on my children’s failures and success as my own and this caused tremendous guilt and anxiety.
At the time my 19 year old son had a lot of anxiety and self harming behaviours. His lack of motivation to do what he needed to do to be successful in school and life were keeping me up at night. Heather allowed me see that he was just mirroring my own fear and anxiety.
I was able to see that by being happy I was healing both myself and my son. This allowed me to become a better parent, wife and leader at work as a nurse.
One thing that helped the most was meditating. I knew when the voices in my head got to be too much that I could meditate and they would quiet down. Once they were quiet I could think about what I really wanted my life to look like.
Heather helped make me see the other side of things that were not always evident to me.
My son is healing and thriving, in his own imperfect way. I’ve laid back on being an over controlling parent and have given him more personal responsibility.
My relationship with my husband changed profoundly – I am not afraid at all to tell him what is on my mind or what my struggles are – I know now that he won’t think differently of me.
I stopped trying to be a people pleaser and this allowed me to feel more connected to those around me and create some amazing friendships.
Heather was able to help me face some truths and work on better things – our many conversations gave me thoughts and ideas to mull over until the next time and would help me realize that the answer was always right there in me if I just became open to it.
Heather has created a powerful and easy to use program for helping children find their center and feel great about themselves.
The four meditations included in her program address real-life challenges every child faces. Moreover, the workbook includes tips that parents can integrate into their current parenting practices, propelling their whole family into a more harmonious state.
The world is quite different than it was 30 years ago; programs life Heather’s are essential to growing up today.
Sarah Wood Valley
Sensational Meditation for Children
“Going into my first session with Heather I had no idea what to expect. I quickly connected with her real and true nature and was able to voice what I wanted in life. Heather allowed me to trust my gut by moving forward using my creativity in a way that will benefit my whole family. She says it like it is and I like that.
It was so great to express my feelings out loud without judgement.”
Before I listened to the meditations, I was feeling depressed, a little upset and tired because school is depressing. I have alot of homework to do, math is hard and I’m just really tired. I listened to Heather’s meditations and now I feel happy. I’m no longer upset and depressed. I feel awesome actually. I’m just happier. I feel rejuvenated.
I like them because they are relaxing. I thought it was really cool because I got to use my imagination.”
Kolby Planinz, age 11
Lampasas, TX, USA