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photo-2Today I wanted to tell you about something I’ve been dealing with lately in my parenting and something my coaching clients struggle with, too.

Helping your children deal with fear and struggle.

As you can imagine telling my children (especially my 9 year old) that I had cancer was not easy. He is a very anxious person to begin with and I didn’t want him thinking ‘worse case scenario.’
As a mother, my natural instinct was to take his pain away. I don’t want my children to worry, see me at my weakest or believe they were going to lose me.
But the truth is… this was an educational moment for all of us. An opportunity for growth and connection.

3 things you should teach your kids about fear.

Fear is something we all experience and it starts at a very young age. The sooner a child is educated on how to deal with their fear the better. Below I’ve given you a few tips on how to effectively start this process when life throws you a curve ball.

 

Feel your feelings (even the bad ones): Often we are afraid to feel what we are feeling because we fear the pain will be unbearable.  Plus, it can be really stressful talking with an angry child.
Emotional expression is the key to emotional freedom. Let them talk openly about how they are feeling about the situation and express your feelings, too.

 

Love unconditionally: Fear hates love. Love cures all. Cliche I know. Smile more. Walk slower. Talk with a softer voice. Hug your children even if they don’t want you to (because they really do). Appreciate their actions and tell them. Shine light on their strengths. Tell them you are proud.
When I feel like I am losing control. My go-to place is love. I stop. I breathe. I listen. I soften. This has taken years of practice (and more practice).  Start somewhere. Start right now.

 

Be vulnerable: Many parents tell me when they cry they leave the room so their children won’t see them. Redefine what it means to be brave and strong. Demonstrate a healthly expression of your emotions and your children will be able to do the same.

 

As Jane Austen put it, “We do not suffer by accident.”

Their is beauty and gifts inside of the pain and grief of suffering. Fear is part of the human experience and the sooner we teach this to our children the better. As parents it is not our job to protect our children from emotional dis-stress but teach them how to deal with these emotions in a healthy way.

How have you supported your children through fear? Let me know below is the comments.

Much love,
heatherchauvin

 

 

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Heather Chauvin is a mental health and self-esteem advocate who has made it her mission to enhance the lives of women and children through conscious living. Heather has a Bachelor of Social Worker Degree and wide variety of continuing education certification in the mental health and holistic sector. Heather also carries a decade of experience working with many diverse populations locally and abroad. Heather leads dynamic training programs that teach both adults and children to succeed in life and accomplish anything they put their minds to. Her unique life experience and professional trainings gives Heather a one-of-a kind approach to personal growth and development.

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